I cockslap morals
and that's when the elephants and penises started dancing on the ceiling
No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
Just turned rock'em sock'em robots with my little cousin into a drinking game. Im drinking bourbon hes drinking hot chocolate.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
i walked in and you were spoon feeding your sister grape juice out of a tupperware.
Who is he, asking me if im dtf without a question mark
...
Some random walked into our tent, woke her up and said "Harry Potter must not go back to Hogwarts!"
Totally sleeping on a bloodstained mattress tonight. I love life's little adventures.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I believe you called it tequila and nipples. The proceeded to strike a pose.
Why the hell did you invite him? He's gonna bring two more inches of dick and zero fun.
my neighbors having band practice on sunday morning is a message from the universe that I should stop drinking
In case you were wondering how drunk I was last night, there was an unopened slim Jim in front of my door and I ate it.
But don't thank me for faking being asleep, if I was the real wing man, I would have left the bed
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
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