What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
Last night I apparently send my boss a picutre of my boobs. On the bonus part I got a raise today. So I just want to thank your parents for naming you Jeff cuz if I was not so hammered last night I would have sent it to the right one.
he went down on me with a nose plug on, you tell me how it went
I can hear her moaning. I'm on some random guy's counter. He wanted me to cuddle but I said I didn't know how.
You came in as I got off work, ordered us jack and cokes. Put them on my tab, and then proceeded to fall asleep on the bar.
You were screaming across the bar "BUYING US SHOTS ISN'T GOING TO MAKE US STRAIGHT, YA KNOW!!!!!!!!"
Remind me tomorrow that I was taking shots of burnetts in the subway line while placing my order
It feels like I'm being stabbed in the uterus with a rake. That night was totally worth it though. Thanks.
It's like a booty call, except its for tacos...and you're my brother.
Nope my penis exudes pure oxygen in times of crisis.
I heard you shushing me, but my screaming orgasm drowned it out.
Yo. What's your name again? You put "don't tell your landlord" as your name lol
I love you but this is the first Saturday I have ever spent at the police station. And where are my boxers?
I took advantage of the fact that my mentee had to go to the bathroom to throw up in the other stall. I'm going to hell for being hungover at an elementary school.
I’m getting back at my ex and training my new boy toy how to properly satisfy a woman. I’m killing two birds with one dick.
Randomize
