Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
So this shipmate of mine somehow managed to throw up in his back pocket.
I can't begin to describe what I look like walking through the grocery store with this outfit and chocolate syrup.
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
Pretty sure I can show you the text you sent me stating some interest in my penis entering your mouth if said circumstances were met.
According to this USDA thing I just read, I should either get upper respiratory issues or begin to bleed from my nose and mouth.
Last night I dreamed that I got eaten out by Lego Harry Potter.
I felt kinda awkward walking into his house in nothing but lingerie and my dead grandmas overcoat
I woke up at like 4 am with an old Korean woman cuddling me. I assure you she was not there when I went to sleep.
I was just asked by a police officer to not come back to Lancaster...
Can you bring me some underwear? I feel uncomfortable going underwear less at a Remembrance Day ceremony.
4 pharmacies and not one had Plan B. If this is gods way of telling me it's time for a child, he can fuck off.
Maybe the "i killed someone" and "tequila makes my clothes come off" comments freaked him out.
Do you ever just admire your boobs?
Last night was a bad idea. I'm hungover and the contents of my purse smell like Korean BBQ.
Randomize
