Fuck appropriateness.
just balanced a champagne glass on my gut. thanks to beer im a living breathing tempur-pedic mattress.
I imagine my 13 hours of sleep after my 3 day upper bender was similar to Jesus rising from the dead.
Why's my alcoholism being used to prove a point?
We were eating hotdog buns dipped in French onion dip in lawn chairs at 4am. That drunk
I'm making myself a nametag with my contact info and pinning it to myself like a kindergardenter in case I get lost when I black out on Sat.
Can we laminate it? Just to be safe.
Some daaay... Bet your bottom dollar that some daaay you'll do that mollyyyy
He's def the type to chop us into bits whilst screaming "NAPA BITCH". AKA my type
You asked me if I was judging you for being drunk, and if I can hypnotize you make sober.
IF IT WALKS LIKE A MANWHORE AND QUACKS LIKE A MANWHORE, HE PROBABLY HAS VD.
I climaxed at the same time the bass dropped. I think it's safe to say I've reached enlightenment
I woke up to half of the whiskey bottle gone, and apparently I showered in my clothes. Pretty good start to SB2015 I'd say?
all i remember is slapping you in the face with a slice of pizza while laughing maniacally.
You cannot steal the fun of my nakedness. You do not own my nakedness. My nakedness is my sole property and I share that fun with whom I choose.
The cat's telling me to stop taking acid, and to start doing the lords work. I'm almost 99% sure he's talking about the dark lord.
THIS CAT'S GOING TO TURN INTO A SNAKE AND KILL ME! GET OVER HERE NOW! BRING YOUR WAND.
Randomize
