he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
Just made gatorade. in the bathtub.
is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
I feel the need to clarify that I did not show her my vagina.
You know he really cares when he gives you one of those on-the-go toothbrushes for your walk of shame before running to work
"If it gets you high just do it" I told him he was the Nike of drug abuse
Remember when we used to go to the bathroom to do drugs together? Now it's to help you with your spanx.
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
You've gotta make sure the carpets match the drapes, though.
I am not dying my bush blue.
Fucked a kid by the name of your hometown tonight... FOR THE WIN.. BF4L
Honestly I have a huge freedom boner right now and if I came it would be red white and blue
This morning I woke up in the entrance of a retirement home. Memory fragments from last night: making it rain with the contents of my wallet over the bridge, getting hit by a car, and a lot of running.
Bud... Did you mean to tweet a picture of your dick? If not just letting you know.
Last time we had sex i was dressed like a ninja turtle and someone else was in our bed, so this time should be fine.
I hope ur kiddin
wish i was
Randomize
