Who knew there were guys that wanted to only stalk you instead of date you? Count on me to find them!
Were taking tot shots. If toddlers could drink these are the size of shots they would take
It's like a bag of dicks covered in taint sweat pounding a pregnant baby walrus.
I bought 2 40s with winning lottery tickets and they paid me $.03. 'Merica
Dude, she gave me a handski that literally felt like she was starting a lawn mower...
Do me a favor. Next time I think it's a good idea to take pulls from the handle, yell "FALCON PUNCH" and uppercut me in the taint. My future liver thanks you.
Dude imagine how many pictures of dicks Obama gets. That can't be unusual. Almost every kids in the US has written the president a letter.
He is dating a girl who is on the Olympic shooting team...I've never been so scared to hit on a guy with a girlfriend in my entire life.
Everyone called me "Barf Vader".. And I lost your lightsaber.
Come back. Shots need mouths.
Thank god he came over. I had to have some good sex to makeup for all the bad sex I've been having.
I mean of all the things to be cockblocked by, Taco Bell is pretty high on the list
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
He shampooed and conditioned his pubes but can't manscape for shit.
Randomize
