I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
Vanillla milkshakes are the new Gold Bond. Will explain later.
Don't bite the hand that gives you multiple orgasms
You'd think me telling him that I'm a lesbian would make him realize that I don't want to hook up with him.
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
You found me in the back room alone eating someone else's whole birthday cake with my hands then asked me if you could join.
It's my coworker's last day party and I'm the one who ended up shitfaced on the train with half a bottle of belvedere in my bag.
Nothing screams fatass like a pizza that doesn't fit in your car
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
Just woke up. Naked. Under an animal pelt. With a girl. I've never met her. She's pretty naked too.
I got unbelievably drunk yesterday, need some time off. Apparently pulling your balls out to make your buddy's girlfriend miss beerpong shots is frowned upon.
So yeah, turns out I enjoy vaguely public group sex. Who knew?
Our lives are a motherfucking joke
Talked to the dude for a hour . I now know where he lives, his occupation, his goals, his dreams and what his dick looks like.
It's going to be like a slumber party but with ketamine
Randomize