ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
Barsexuality is the new black.
all she kept saying was "harder" "mayo" and "who are you"
she woke up, said "please dont tell me your name, i dont want to remember it"
just left a line of flour and citric acid on the dresser for my roommate to find. teach that bastard to steal my coke!
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
I gave ten strangers a full description of his penis and its abilities. I need to stop drinking.
He slow fucked me. Doggy style. On a porch. You never slow fuck doggy style. Its a law. A LAW.
She said we could only have sex if she got to keep her fake moustache on during
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
It's George Washington's Birthday. Can you not put on some red white and blue and get really drunk for the original Merican??
You remember the guy they called Meat in high school? Well, let's just say my vagina remembers him now.
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
im about to go through the checkout with 3 flasks and a wedding card. let the judgement begin!
update: cashier guessed cash bar before i could say anything. completely bypassed "dry" and knew cash bar right away. i love this state.
Don’t judge me
Some of us don’t have access to dick on a constant basis
Randomize
