garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
he is not the type of person you only have sex with once. god adds years to your life every time you sleep with him.
I'm pretty sure there's seven mailboxes in the bathtub...
Come put a leash on your gf. She just challenged 8 cops to a wrestling match for 'tag team champion of the world'
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So I had to explain to her that pussy doesn't mean a cat
This guy just brought his piggy bank into the bar with him. Talk about corruption of childhood.
I'm wayyy too drunk to be in a parade right now
She dropped a weight class after every shot I took. I thought I was just drink something magical.
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I asked her to make me water, which in turn meant get me a glass. She handed me a cup of microwaved ice cubes.
He got thrown out for leaning over the bar topless and pouring himself some beer while singing the james bond song
Did you shave a certain someone in his sleep last night?
It makes me really sad that some people start their saturdays running or biking instead of with 3 shots of tequila, a sausage biscuit, freaks & geeks and 2 orgasms.
He told me he sees me like a sister then 10 mins later tried to make out with me.
My debit card was between my ass cheeks when i woke up. i vaguely remember putting it there for safe keeping
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