Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
apparently it's okay for him to stick his dick in my mouth but not to let me have a can of diet pepsi for the road.
How do you politely bring up someone's criminal record?
He pulled the washer 5 feet out from the wall screaming about quarters
What's the best way to say, "it's too early in our relationship to leave me at your place alone"? Steal something?
I'm starting to think you fell asleep on your kitchen floor pantless with salsa spilt around you
I can't even remember the last time I took my own pants off
I never thought I would be having sex behind a shower curtain that wasn't in a bathroom.
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
Whenever I'm hungover I try to stay in public as much as possible, hoping to be a cautionary tale to children. It's a public service, really.
Should I put the money for my dealer in a Christmas card? You know, make it more frstive?
My vagina is no longer accepting new clients.
I don't care if he's the coolest coworker, if he's living in his mom's basement at 30 you should not buy drugs from him
Let's just say if my bucket list had "fngered in the middle of a club by a complete stranger while being sprayed by UV paint" then that is well and truly ticked off.
Stop trying to mix nacho cheese and sex. Guys don’t want hot cheese near their junk. Pick a better fetish
Randomize
