Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
there's chicken and sequins in our bathroom sink. part of me almost wants to know what happened
She fucked me because she said I looked like Neil Patrick Harris
Today's dinner table topic: the probablity of my dad turning gay if he ever left my mom.
A-plus on my thesis. I deserve the blowjob to end all blowjobs. And I wanna wear a crown while you do it.
so not only am i rooming with two chicks on the volleyball team, but we just put down the deposit on a hot tub. this is going to be the best summer ever for my dick.
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
If man night ends at some point, hit me up and let me prove my vagina still exists.
the night probably should have been over when the guy let her fill out my mechanical bull waver for me because i couldn't read
Only you would have a vasectomy while you're awake and report on the soundtrack first
I have been drunk every time I've gone to mexico. I do not remember mexico.
I had a dream last night that I answered the phone and after I said hello, Shia Lebeouf started yelling "DO IT! JUST DO IT!" That's when I knew, I had officially become meme trash.
I ate so much cake that I can't even enjoy a blowjob
That's the most first world problem I've ever heard in my life.
Fuck you. You were a total asshole last night.
We will get to that, but can anybody tell me whose fucking socks I am wearing?!
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
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