She's JV to your varsity
There need to be more gay people on my afternoon soaps.
it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
He was like an evil genius with the clitoris. I don't stand a chance.
If we get out of this alive, I'm never going to a Denny's at 3 am again.
It came up in court that I told the arresting officer my name was Thomas Jefferson, and I was born in 1776. I almost kept a straight face. Almost.
I'm bringing Sergeant Single Slut out this weekend. I hope you're ready for her.
Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked.
How long have I been using my debit card as a coaster?
What are the chances I get my period 2 weeks early just as welcome week starts. My uterus is conspiring with my dead catholic grandma
My doctor said I can only have one drink at a time, ever, from now on. My life has officially started its decline.
I can't decide if this outfit makes me look like a pirate. I also can't decide if I care if it does.
The thing about pooping in the woods during hunting season is you never know if someone's watching you.
I need a rain check on breakfast. A frat boy said it was his dream to sleep with a MILF, I made his dream come true and he made me cum
There is no way I’m wasting 21 year old morning wood
Fuck your bullshit loser kid and his gluten allergy.
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