I keep trying to leave, but for some reason I'm staying
My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
vodka and carrot juice, if im gonna drink i at least got my 8 servings of vegetable
Is there any way you can check to see if I have a warrant out in Alabama?
Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
I feel like I could be a daytime drinking legend, like they could put that shit on my tombstone and right now your preventing me from reaching my full potential
The police woke me up so they had no choice but to see my morning wood.
Is it possible to rally from a drunken seizure?
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
Fucked a kid by the name of your hometown tonight... FOR THE WIN.. BF4L
you made cordon bleu at 4am and declared you were Marshall Stewart
He's far too busy staring into my soul to touch my tits.
Can't believe we're making vacation plans with the guy we had a threesome with
Will u make me a "6 month anniversary of being single" cake??? I wanna celebrate
I’m sorry I got high and yelled about the patriarchy.
Randomize
