I woke up, mistook him for my ex, and started screaming. It was all that chest hair. I don't think this relationship is going anywhere.
Dear yesterdays makeup, Thank you for always being there when I stay up late binge drinking on weeknights and am running late to work Friday morning. You're the best.
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
Just saw a woman with a Pomeranian in her bra. Way to step up your game Seattle.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just for future questioning, I didnt break up with you over text
He asked me to spit in his mouth. I did. Never let me hook up with this guy again.
I took shrooms last night.. For a good half hour I genuinely believed I was black and being held captive by a leaf. Never again.
I like how zombie Abe Lincoln and hooking up with a girl were on your same thought process.
He has no idea he's waking up in slut palace tomorrow morning
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He cried & told me I reminded him off his mother. I don't want to talk about it. I want to drink about it.
You slept on a pillow of digiorno
Like who needs a job and family when you can get drunk for free with strippers?
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
We kind of crashed their funeral party. Oops.
Just saw my ex AGAIN. The constellation of gays must be at some sort of weird point with Mercury.
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