i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
some old guy just shit himself in my section. everyones leaving
Just got a call at work, I have to consent to a random drug and alcohol test by end of business day, if you arranged this it's the best/worst April fools prank ever.
Also, I'm sewing my entire Halloween costume by hand. I better get laid at every single party I go to.
Pretty sure I just had sex with the black kid who grew up in a car from "angels in the outfield"
How come I never meet celebrities?
After the concert, I paid a cab to drive me around the city so I could shout "dc highfive!" at everyone who passed for an hour and a half.
at 6am he came into my room and kicked me in the stomach. when i finally got up he was passed out in my hallway and the bathtub water was running
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
I seriously doubt I'm gonna be able to properly put your dick in my mouth whilst upside down, but I'm willing to give it my best shot
at least its a cool name to shout when he's balls deep in you later
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
yeah I woke up in jail with two different shoes on and neither of them were mine
I got to walk around for eight hours wearing power armor and acting camp. No way I wouldn't love it.
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
I woke up to a huge bag of McDonalds breakfast, a cup of coffe and Advil. The note read "yeah its a one night thing, but I felt bad so here you go. Thanks"
He just set a new unobtainable standard in one night stand etiquette.
Randomize
