tonight's goal was "most regrettable decision" and you bring wine coolers?
Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
I'm glad you trust me to be your sex stat keeper.
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
You said "sustain yourself" quietly over and over as you fed joeys hamster cashews. Acid you is a trip
I found a phone book at the party and started calling everyone with my last name asking if they wanted to form a club. I'm meeting one for brunch tomorrow...
who dressed up as a cop at your party???
idk I have to check. Why?
he gave me the best strip search of my life. FIND HIM.
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
dude girls our age are getting married and having babies and I still can't figure out how to defrost my hotpockets
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
You're like the fucking Mozart of sexting.
Not sure what happened last night, but I woke up without a shirt on and cereal glued to my boobs...
She said I'm like warm bathroom-sink water. There's nothing necessarily wrong with me, but she doesn't exactly want to "drink me in"
Why would you get kicked out?
Well, an overweight man is currently not wearing a shirt. Or pants. And is getting in touch with his inner Chippendale. You can probably fill in the blanks.
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
Randomize
