What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
If penises could fly, my ass would totally be an airport.
looking back it was a good thing we were too wasted to fire up the chainsaw
It's like split custody, only he's not a kid and they have sex with him.
He recognized me by my ass from about 15 yards away. I must have a REALLY nice ass.
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
As a heterosexual male nursing student, the odds are ever in my favor. My first semester has basically been The Horny Games. I've killed almost all of the competitors at this point.
yea but i missed the pot and poured the boiling water on my dick. shit hurts. aint nothin easy about that mac
Getting drunk in an Applebee's pray for me
Lord god protect this child
THEYRE FUCKING GOLD
Are you talking about the color of my tits or the quality of my nudes cause both are
I'm eating a block of cheese like its a sandwich in the tsa line
It's wednesday. OF COURSE HE'S DRUNK.
That was the first time ive ever slept with a girl with a q in her name
before i went to bed i wrote myself a note that says 'i feel all swirly'
The neighbor just poured gasoline on his 2 brush fires and proceeded to shoot Roman candles at them 🤔
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