Me too. Send a cab. Order food.
As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
Thanks to this cookie, I have now eaten something other than skittles today.
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
Honestly the war on drugs is dumb and you can just sleep in my bed which is mega comfortable anytime you want. There I said it
The cop let me finish my J before he cuffed me. Coolest arresting officer ever.
So worth it. Come over for bacon egg cheese vusquit later. 12. I slept with Jimmy? On my period? And told him he had mother issues? No tequila. Tequila bad.
I want you to get off the plane and get directly into my pants
The perfect man would keep a whisky sour in my hand and give me endless sex. I really don't think that's too much to ask for.
We are literally scheduling phone sex... if that's not long distance af then i don't know what is
The last thing I remember is being given a cup full of absinthe and deciding I needed to wear my tool belt
You were returned to the hotel by someone wearing a priest costume and carrying knives.
i black out too much to be "responsible"
I deserve a medal for being woke up at 6am on my day off by your mother asking where your brother is
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