i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
Too bad it's not "confirm, ignore or not unless I've had 20+ beers"
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
Just saying. If you end up in canada tomorrow morning at least youll have my text to remind you how it happened
Her hair goes down to her lower back and nobody was there to held it back for her. She looked like chewbacca dipped in vomit.
You crossed every boundary on the boundary spectrum last night. You're like the illegal immigrant of drunk actions. No more holiday drinking for you.
Dad says your scarf isnt fooling anyone and u look like a douchebag, its literally the perfect time to tell him your gay
The weed is temporarily burning the grammar section of my brain library.
I went in the closet and cried, then the bathroom and cried, and lastly he showed me his penis and I cried. It was a weird night.
Just remembered I railed lines while holding a puppy
He looked me deeply in the eyes and said "I don't want this to be the last time I see you.. Can I follow you on Instagram"
Did your grand seduction include learning to play careless whisper on a kazoo or was that just a hobby
My life has come down to me literally sitting on an uncrustables trying to defrost it because I’m drunk alone and hungry.
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
He sided with his father, so I slashed his tires. I’d say that’s a fair trade.
Randomize
