Dude let's go to Saudi Arabia. They outlawed valentine's day. And probably love.
How do u explain cocaine to a 9 year old?
Just saw my father's penis. Don't know what to say.
Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
Hey do you have anything at your house 30 ft. tall to throw eggs off of?
someone just laughed at me while i'm laying on the floor waiting for the bus. like they've never been hungover.
If you were a good friend you would take the nipple tassels off me before the ambulance comes.
Based on the time of Sean's "I'm on your street" phone call last night, we had sex for an hour and a half. Man, time flies when you're getting boned to an orgasmic death.
I ate the last cupcake. I'm sorry. It was in the refrigerator mocking me. So I ate it. And it was glorious. But I'm sorry.
I believe in weed hangovers. To say the least.
I think my pussy is going to freeze to the ground
Sorry, i'm on a strict diet of vodka and regret
So I have now fucked both my roommates...This is why I can’t live with men.
So someone just asked us for our kidneys?!?
Is it too much to ask to have a life partner who has both male and female sex organs that looks cute and sounds like a female Antonio Banderas and likes to get weird?
Randomize
