brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
It was like a spaceship landed and 1000s of hipsters filled up the park
I'll tell you what, we couldn't have asked for better binge-drinking weather.
i was actually impressed that she managed to throw up underwater while scuba diving
she wouldn't stop crying, so we sang her to sleep. i'm guessing you will find her in the same position by the toilet in the morning. night.
i think he was starting go for a boob grab when we both realized the middle of a public tennis court wasn't the place
There is soup leaking out of my nose nothing in life has prepared me for this moment
Please do us both a favor and come rip my clothes off.
In other news I have discovered that grindr is the easiest way to get free meals
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
I really thought I'd be the only alcoholic drinking alone in my car at noon in the Lowe's parking lot. Passed out dude in the car next to me begs to differ.
I just bought emergency deodorant at Dominick's and put it on in front of a homeless man while waiting for the bus. He laughed and said 'girl, you a mess'. This is my life.
I was walking out the front door and heard his roomate say "It looks like you need a chiropractor." I think my work here is done.
I think he knows I took a picture of him. Why I don't get punched in the face more often is anyone's guess.
we turned the lights off and all you could see were my glow in the dark stars and his penis
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