my mom just served us mashed potatoes with an ice cream scoop. When I asked her why, she said she thought it would make dinner 'more fancy'...
Do you think anyone has ever tried to have sex with a cows udder before?
you do realize eating doritos and gatorade as a breakfast hangover cure is only acceptable for one more month - then we have to grow up
That was the scariest sex i've ever heard....
It was the best sex i've ever had.
Dude, I swear her tits are going to give me a concusion.
When I blacked in, I was crying to my father at the swim-up bar that "I was going to win an Oscar." how do you THINK Mexico was?
Most of the bar is playing trivia I'm playing destroy a relationship in twenty questions
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
I am never going on a blind date ever again. He drank way too much and kept telling me I had a nice boob. Like.. Singular. What's the other one? The ugly twin?
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
We tried the hang n bang, remember? You ruined it by crying and telling me you loved me while blowing me.
I emailed the police apartment to apologize to the officer from last night. I practically threw a hissy fit because he wouldn't hug me.
It was "against protocol"
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
You were having sex very loudly, so I felt it necessary to blast the Thong Song, bust out the trusty old airhorn and walk in on you. MY BAD.
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
Randomize
