Drawing on your hand and calling it yenifer lopez doesn't count!
bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
He thanked me for being "his little blond pogo stick last night". Good thing?
Peanut butter while high is kinda stressful
Your ass just called me, someone was yelling "awful waffle" and also, " I don't know who's hands are who's anymore"
Honestly, I don't care if the only reason she gave me her beer was because she was bisexual and wanted to touch my vagina. Beer is beer.
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
If a young child walked up to you and grabbed your penis, you'd feel violated too.
Houston, we have a squirter
Did you ever stop and think that god invented whiskey dick specifically for me
After 13 tally marks I wrote the number 4,000 and made u sign my arm to prove it.
I told my doctor about us having twin chlamydia
We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
I'll just tell you, some how when we were having sex on Friday my collarbone got fractured.
Randomize
