im in Michaels with rachel and i see a little boy jumping around and waving a rainbow pompom. Welcome to our team little one
Puked in a plastic neiman Marcus bag while driving. My biggest accomplishment yet
If I have to go to the hospital can we stop by the liquor store on the way?
Well on a lighter note, guess who just threw up in the elevator
Either I'm spending too much time drinking or my perfume is starting to smell like a pineapple vodka.
When I blacked in, I was crying to my father at the swim-up bar that "I was going to win an Oscar." how do you THINK Mexico was?
Medically YOU CAN'T BE AN ALCOHOLIC TILL 25!!!!! WE GET 3 BONUS YEARS!!!!
The sad thing is; I'm getting used to walking around feeling like I could hurl at any minute.
He put my hand on his penis and said welcome home.
Going through Bojangles drive thru chanting "KFC" hammered at 8:00 was the highlight.
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.
You called your ex, and talked to her for an hour about how you miss her, came back inside and asked the girl with the biggest tits if you could take a pic with your face in them and sent her the picture.
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
It's sunday night and I just went to the store to buy cookie dough and condoms, I'm so proud of myself.
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