May have just accidentally purchased an iphone on Kate's credit card. This has potential to be bad.
this girl and her friend just showed up at my house. standing together, theylook exactly like the number 10. this has cockblock written alllllll over it.
Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
The dean held back my hair as I was puking after graduation. That means so much more than a diploma and a handshake.
Went to anytime fitness at 3:34 am drunk after the the bar and getting whataburger. Lifted weights with my cheeseburger between my knees. That's called DEDICATION.
Please make the clown in the corner stop judging me. I mean he's the one with paint on his face. I don't need him judge judying me.
It was insane. I was drunk for 11 consecutive hours. I woke up covered in almonds and there were footprints all over my shirt
I look like i have multiple stab wounds in my foot and there are footprints from the elevator to my room. What happened?
tom claimed she had a star tattooed around her buttonhole. i am not prepared for this era of skankyness
Well the good news of being walked in on, my mom says your tits are pretty. Then she added that hers were like that once. Fml
But like, I don't remember getting hit with the door... I just come out from peeing and there was blood running down my face.
Just peed on the front lawn of the capital building. Great American.
THEY'RE HAVING SEX ON A HORSE AND THE HORSE DOESN'T EVEN CARE.
just made a presentation to 40 students and my professor about morals and ethical issues..still drunk. at 8am. I wish I could remember how it went.
ok, muffins say "love me", waffles say "fuck me", got it.
Randomize
