OH RELAX, IT WAS PITY SEX.....
so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
Just woke up in a hotel next to a 38 year old mom who's married... I think Spring Break has started
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
He said he wants to make an itinerary for the sex we'll have when I come home.
whatever a "slut portfolio" is, mine is apparently almost complete
Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman?
You're doing that 'overestimating how much I care' thing again.
Or I could just give you a blow job and make it up to you.
No, that's okay. Don't worry about it.
Going once.....twice.........sold to the girl who didn't really wanna do it anyway.
I found the bottle of ketchup and sobe you tried to hide in the middle of the lawn last night
"Work from home" is code for "morning drinks" right?
Booty calls should never involve the cops.
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
Sorry you ended up in detox. It's not my fault you decided to walk downtown in only your underwater at 3am. I think the tequila took over.
That was fun and all, but let's never have sex on a ladder ever again.
Randomize
