Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
I think I have swimmer's ear. From his tongue.
just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
Remember that time we became friends because I shotgunned a Tall Boy in your bathroom?
Those memories are both hazy and awesome.
he was definitely TRYING to give me herpes.
I'm in the city buying alcohol. I just got warned by a homeless man on the street that I shouldn't look so pretty "in these parts"
I like how our relationship transcends the borders of inappropriateness and encompasses all the colors of the inappropriate rainbow.
Oh my god there's only so much masturbating one can do before one wants to fucking cry
Happiness is having a 12 hour day thinking that there are only 2 beers in the fridge when you get home, but then finding 8. Fuck you Monday, this week I won.
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
Update: drank half a bottle of Bourbon and texted three ex's. Waiting for the roommates to go to sleep so I can raid the fridge.
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
If the guys trying to booty call text me could see me right now in some raggedy pajamas with toothpaste down the front of my shirt eating pepperoni out of the package they might change their minds
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