i just saw an asian skipping down the street and it made me think of you
I am about to get in a knife fight over a corn dog.
in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
i just dedicated my kegstand to your breasts
booty call birthday vouchers, best idea ever. it's like giving a present to myself for someone else's birthday.
thanks for the 52 voicemails of you and crystal reciting the pleg of allegance
Yes ma'am.Im also looking at my collection of penis pictures in my email playing "who;s penis is that"?
I'm eating hummus off of my stomach right now.
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
You HAVE to stop telling me about the shit you do drunk. I can't be both your brother AND your gay friend.
Serio, who the fuck falls down coming offstage wearing nothing but pasties, a g-string, and a fake moustache, and now suddenly needs a tetanus shot. Me. That's who.
Fucking adderall I just talked at the security guard for 90 minutes
He just ate a tooth whitening strip...
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