the next time i see a chick with leggings under her jean skirt...i'm gona beat her ass with a fashion magazine...
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
This show inspires me to have sex in space
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its not that I'm getting free haircuts... Its just that she is paying for sex with haircuts...
I'm bringing vagina and cookies. You'll be fine.
Bailey. He has a soul patch. Idgaf if he was an NFL player. Nobody with a soul patch is attractive.
Just had a talk about safe sex with my mom. Not about protection. About the very real possibility of a "penile fracture". Gotta love having a nurse for a mother.
Drunkness level: fluent in olde norse
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I lost my bar virginty and made out with a dwarf. It was a good night
You came out of your room naked under your open robe with a mouth full of brownie on a stick and grabbed a fistful of fruit loops and shoved them into your already full mouth.
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
I feel like too many of my sentences start of with "Hey, fuckface!"
Listen here, Ms. "I'm Gonna Get Super Drunk and Run From My Friends Screaming That They Were Going to Drag Her to a Scientology Recruitment Camp"...
Longest 30 seconds of my life
10/10 so not recommended
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