apparently red wine has the total opposite effect that whiskey does on his dick
Turns out, Windex will cut right through semen stains on a computer case.
Even if you were sober, spitters are STILL quitters, end of story.
It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens.
the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
its not like she's the last girl on the planet with symmetrical breasts and great skin
well let's see. after you forcefully shoved a half-eaten apple in my mouth, you ruined the pepsi by dumping an entire beer in there.
could you please explain to me why my jumper cables are on my bedroom floor?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What's that word that means bigger and smaller and bigger and smaller, again?
Goddamn it, Jaime, it's 4am. Throbbing. The word is throbbing.
Here's a tip. Don't party with someone that needs sexual attention. Drinking and sexual attention don't mesh well in the morning. Especially over a bowl of Cheerios.
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
Also I'm at the pub and there are old lady pirates gyrating on a pole. I wish you were here.
I'm asking you this because you're my dad....is coke a drug I should try?
So I had Xanax for breakfast & I'm probably going to fuck my tennis instructor.
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