Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
I woke up naked on the bathroom floor. the tile grout marks on my boobs hurt, i mananged to use a roll toilet paper as a pillow. never again. did we eat salad?
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
listening to the two girls in the next stall finish a 40 and laugh at this guy they both fucked. they're calling him 'tulip dick'.
Dude just walked down the street literally wearing nothing but a small box around his waist carrying a case of beer. I want to live here for the rest of my life.
We're discussing which museums we should go to when we shroom. How ill would Picasso be?
Lets go see if some hobos will give us a prostate massage for a 40 ounce.
I just overheard this sorority girl saying "It's like trick or treting but for alcohol and with no costumes." I'm jealous.
I walked home with him, but I had to pee...so I did...as we walked. He was so drunk he didn't even notice. Good thing I was in a dress.
Yeah bunch of crazy shit... Makes you wonder how anyone found someone before tinder
I feel like my sexual preferences are just another sign that I am a 75 year old drag queen in a 29 year old woman's body.
2017 is gonna be explosive... Already watching fireworks out the window while shit my brains out. Happy Ew Year
I'm not sure if 14 year old me would be disappointed or proud that I fucked him behind her middle school??
You walked in on us hooking up, hugged me, high fived him and unhooked my bra.. You claimed to be helping
honestly performing my own hysterectomy would hurt less than my cramps right now.
Randomize
