You know how britney does the hair flip too much in her new videos? Thats me right now
I have a new suitor he got my # last nite... I was to tipsy to function! What was I thinking!! It's like u when u first met me
so she proceeds to puke everywhere, look up at me like a sick dog, and then say, "i'll finish if you want me to."
i tried to get you to come inside, but you insisted on throwing up in the flowers "because they're pretty."
Been drinkin since 3, wearing a tutu, how could things go wrong
Just met someone from Jersey. No fist pumps or jagerbombs. Kind of disappointed...
Your dignity remains intact. He, on the other hand, is completely convinced he slept with your cat.
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
He busted his lip while trying to keep from passing out in the pool. The hotel people don't seem to be too concerned that we're passing around a bottle of SoCo at 11 am.
you have no idea the dirty thing i want to do to your blad spot. please wear my vagina as a hat.
You want anything?
Gatorade and you naked.
I most definitely just found a video on my phone that I accidentally took... You can't see anything and all you can hear is me talking about how good your water was... And then I fed it to you... And used the word "eloquent" to describe it.
Shawn wouldn't stop singing about his cock on the ride home that night it freaked my girlfriend out how consistent he was
You know you were way drunk when you wake up at 7 AM halfway on a couch, tangled in a sheet with your shoes still on.
His idea of hot sex is sticking his finger in my dark star while doing me Missionary style. You can tell he's from the Bible Belt.
Does he smell like BBQ?
Inside and out.
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