You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
I think you blew it when you asked her "Do you look good naked too, Or is it just the bra?"
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
she made a facebook for her toddler.. his likes include lil wayne and ice luge. He has more friends than i do. I mean, Seriously? there's not enough booze in the world to make thanksgiveing bearable
I was making out with him, and then his friend randomly took off my pants and started going down on me. My first semi-threesome was a success.
don't trust your eyes. just sniff them. if they smell like axe, they are broke, move on to the next.
I decided to have a date tonight. Back on horse I go. Or aiming to be on a horse cock one day. You know. However that metaphor goes.
Next time I will hook the Xbox before I get high I spent 30minuts thinking I was playing the Simpsons game when it was in reality a tv episode
Just woke up to Siri reminding me that i need to kill the giant orange spider in my room, because it's sorcery and witchcraft is sacrilegious. Did you give me LSD again!?!??!
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns
Clearly the Stanley Cup Finals good luck hand job IS necessary. You let the whole team down.
Randomize
