I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
How young is too young to ask my kid to make me a drink?
I've decided to film a documentary centered around how he manages to keep that beast caged in such tight pants
Dude. Muppets take manhattan on netflix instant. Pass my midterm or relive my childhood? Tough decision.
it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
i just threw up a quarter into the urinal in the bathroom at the bar. everybody else stared then cheered. that drunk
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
I woke up naked in his kitchen...His name is Mike and we're having a "what happened last night" beer.
my mom was by far the drunkest one there. best impromptu wednesday afternoon party ever
Tell me again your tentative move date. There are 5 Russians in my apartment on ecstasy and they are having a rave in my living room. I can't. I need to move stat
He said he remembers me...standing on a snowy roof, smoking a blunt, yelling "you're pretty fly for a white guy" at him. Sounds about right.
I just love that a strip club has taco Tuesday.
I've got a bottle of water, a bag of salad greens, and a bottle of hot sauce. How stoned do you think I am?
Bitch I slept on the ground 2 nights running
Why can't he see that I don't want a slow getting to know you period? I just want to bone. NOW.
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