im pretty sure i tried to attack the vending machine last night
lol who won
well im in the hospital right now so u tell me
im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
She was holding a turtle doing a beer bong out of a flower watering can.
He came, while we were making out fully clothed. I'm going to write a book.
The highlight of my night was definitely explaining the bandaid on my nipple.
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
I feel like I got hit by a bus. A head on collision with my vag.
he also bled all over my floor. unrelated to cats but true nonetheless.
You pretended to pelvic thrust my mother on the boat while my 92 year old grandmother looked on. Thanks.
We designated a driver... But it was me..... So we designated another driver
Its alot like that time you got motorboated by the carni at the rodeo.
yea but i missed the pot and poured the boiling water on my dick. shit hurts. aint nothin easy about that mac
He called my vagina "the man cave", and I found it charming
And that is why I love you so much. You have the same cold black heart as me.
He walked into me masturbating to a framed picture of Bill Murray riding a t-rex
Randomize
