needless to say, I hope she has to get an abortion again
This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
Apparently the cops have a video of me singing bob seger "Night moves".
Nah I'm perfectly content solely banging the married bartender once a week.
That's practically a relationship for you
You know it's time to cut back when your unemployed drug dealer roommate tells you that you party too hard.
Oh my god. I just RAN OVER a child. Oh my god this isnt my day. That kid was cool as fuck though
You know it's been a good thanksgiving when you pee all over your own hands.
He's getting so into these sexts, I hate to tell him I'm fully clothes, watching Bring It On and eating chips and salsa.
I finished my first whiskey and I'm waiting to have a second one in celebration when your pregnancy test comes back negative
I guess I'm famous. Hot lesbian was WARNED about me. Still hooked up with her.
I'll pay you to teach me.
Look, I am sorry I shaved your cat...but get over it.
Omg. I'm living macklemores best life. I have someone's granddads dog, I'm about to have someone's grandmas car. I look incredible.
I bet he’d be surprised by the epic blow job he’d get if he stopped talking about his wife long enough for me to get in the mood
Randomize
