Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
All I want to do right now is burp, puke, and fart. In that order.
I just showed my tits to my brother on chatroulette. Could my life get any worse?
I may have been hammered and in a wheelchair but I definitely remember asking the hospital reseptionist to marry me
I now realize that they made gum to take the taste of dick out of your mouth.
hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
FACT: the parking lot attendant was yelling "NO SEX HERE! NO SEX" at yall.
There appears to be a lake on my nightstand. As usual, I should not be considered a suspect. Together, we will find out who did this.
Just witnessed my roommate pick her nose and eat it in her sleep. Remember, you made out with that.
I don't drink so I see St. Patty's as an LSD type of day. Its like a more hardcore 420
Nah I've been there. The worst you'll see is some hobo peeing in a sewer at 3 am on a Saturday
Can we table this discussion? The roommate is out of town and I have to eat pie on the couch in my underwear.
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
You kissed my hand and then put a Taco in it. Why WOUDNT I leave my husband?
The night got way more interesting after Jimmy started doing summersaults in front of the bar.
Randomize
