Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
He told me he loved me mid lick. Anyone that can look at me from that angle, lick my vagina, and say they love me must absolutely mean it
she asked me which thongs i though her boyfriend would like best. fuck the friend zone
So the night ended when we tried making fireworks out of gunpowder and oregano. You can figure out how that went.
College has taught me that the "best idea" is rarely the fun one.
This is true but you can't really get fired from college
Duuuude someone spilled hot sauce all over the floor and trailing outside wtf
OH GOD IT'S BLOOD. THIS IS ALOT OF BLOOD.
I don't want sex or anything I just really need someone to appreciate how shiny my hair is
The more I think about it, the more convinced I am that I'm the solution to all of T-Swift's guy problems.
I just thought you should know.... I am fully committed to being a ho this summer
as I was leaving in the morning with his clothes on his roommate pops up and goes 'don't you dare steal that shirt, i gave it to him for his birthday'.
Coffee's working. Just killed a fly with my bare hands.\nFuck with me.
just because i'm not a monk anymore doesn't mean I need to tell you about my new sex life.
which is fantastic by the way.
I think I may have fully transcended this spectrum of life. I can see beams of light man. Down to the photons
What
The only downside is I can't stop skipping
I just found a contact in my phone named "Nick from The Party". Who's nick?
Randomize
