Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
Literal conversation "you are ________ ____. you facebook friended me"
her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
Tell me why Im cashing out of Walmart with Smirnoff and catfood
Only she could turn her genital wart appointment into a date night.
His penis has a special gift of curing my broken heart
You could probably play six degrees of separation of my cock in this city.
Someone just told me I have an ass that could kill small children .... Don't know how to take that one
I drunken agreed to go wedding dress shopping with a stranger at the bar yesterday. She sent me an email asking what days I am free.
found $100 my ex got arrested and I can receive free health insurance I gotta tell ya 2014 is really going to be my year
I still don't know why she was so offended when I emerged from the bathroom and told her my balls were now clean.
hi, I love you... and I'm sorry your floor is covered in popcorn, your cabinet is broken, all your alcohol is gone, you're 80 dollars poorer, everything in your bedside table is soaked in beer, austin slept in your bed in those disgusting underwear, I made out with your toilet seat, and for talking to your mom with a four loko in my hand
you were just in my dream and you looked at me and said "Christmas is cold." I think you're wasted even in my dreams.
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