her vagine was all disorganized.
I woke up naked by my window. blinds open. smiley face drawn on my window.
I would kind of like a job that starts at 10:30 and i'll work til 7. I'm not very productive in the morning. My main focus is not puking from 9-11.
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just seen a scantily clad pirate with 2 36 packs of natty ice on a bike riding with no hands. If she doesn't hit a speed bump she's golden and should be on the next Americas got talent.
I'm gonna need you to NOT let me play duck duck goose with three racoons in the middle of the street next time.
Not exactly sure why you felt the need to get the halloween decorations out. But waking up to 7 carved pumpkins really scares the shit out of you.
By midnight I was dipping doritos in frosting...that's how my simmer break diet is going.
My mascara kind of smells like tequila to me...Is this my body crying for help or asking for a shot?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So they found him after the wedding still dressed up in his feather boa and top hat passed out in a bush...
I wouldn't say I LOVE Pacman. I mean, sure, I'd battle against you in an epic Pacman struggle for blow jobs and glory. But I mean, who wouldn't?
The moment when you and your BFF compare frequently used emojis and realize you have similar mental disorders and a really weak alibi.
I couldn't even tell you how many times I've said "wrong hole" today
Is it possible for mice to climb? If so I think mice are climbing into my bed in the night and playing with my hair..
My lack of taco bell is hindering me from seeing the good part of that situation
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