I picked her up for our first date on a fucking horse. Of course I got a BJ.
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
I can't leave. She doesn't trust me and my penis being out in the world without supervision.
I just invented spray cheese vodka. tastes real nasty but does the trick.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
I'm surprised I haven't crapped out a leprechaun, I'm so hungover
I know. I told you I'm a mess. She had weird nipples. I almost lost an eye to one.
Sunrise bitch. You owe me waffles
Thats not real though. Slash there are other extenuating circumstances to lead me to believe dick is wanted
HOLY FUCK I SPELLED EXTENUATING RIGHT ON THE FIRST TRY. IM THE BEST DRUNK NA
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I didn't think I was even that high but when we were standing in the cop car's headlights I totally forgot how to use my arms
he just used a semicolon in the middle of a sext
He just snapchatted me a blank snap that said "miss our sex" Vagina game too strong
A toast to whoever set this year's daylight savings fallback to the day after halloween, granting us another hour to detox before we pretend to be functional adults. Clearly, a partier with forethought and clear priorities. Cheers!
We were covered in sweat and glitter, making out onstage, in front of everyone. I think it was a good night.
I'm going to smell of sex and shame.
How is that different than any other Monday night?
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