This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
She was doing lines off of her friends boobs in the limo at 9 oclock on a thursday This has the potential to be the best weekend ever
I just found cold cuts in the blender. You and beefeater can no longer have unsupervised parties.
She has puke on the back of her shirt not quite sure how the hell she did that
It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.
I'm home, and it turns out she didn't get it all. still picking Oreos out of my pubes.
Do me a favor and don't mention him I feel like Regina George and I just want to scream I made him
Can you have a quarter life crisis another time? I'm trying to masterbate.
I'm about to eat a 2month old weed brownie I just found in my lax duffel bag. will you answer if I call you in like an hour and a half
He fucked me while wearing his night time breathing machine mask. Does this mean I joined the dark side and he is Darth Vader?
We always have to do something together that tests the human limits of the body. Hopefully it has at least a 75% death rate.
Kids music just accidentally came on at this party. I didn't know how many stoners were here until they all sang along.
I was stuffing my face while buying a brownie and coffee and some kid I fucked came up behind me and said. Someone's hungry.
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
Randomize
