singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
She is totally STD
Is it a bad omen that my phone auto corrects dtf to STD
I'm walking down the street with a Starbucks in one hand and a flask in the other. People seem to have a staring problem
I'm crawling around naked in my room looking for my hairbrush. Just thought I'd put that image in your head.
My autobiography is now tentatively titled "I'm Fucking the DJ, and Other Ways to Party for Cheap"
The way I see it, everyone on campus has a fake, but I'm the only person who actually makes beer in their dorm.
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
I misjudged the power of my pelvic thrusting capabilities. His nose is broken. Thoughts?
I actually want to work out for some reason... I think it's my brains way of telling me it doesn't like living in a fat body.
So I fucked him. Then I MC Hammer'd to the bathroom, where I did the robot in celebration of my accomplishment. And then I spent 10 mins fixing my toilet. But YOLO.
did i make more ranch sandwiches last night
you had 4
He keeps bees of course he's weird
I told her it would be awesome. We are all the same people. One of us would always be drunk, one of us would always be hooking up, and one of us would always be crying into a pancake.
Every time you mention the threesome around him I will high five you. Do what you will with this information.
After we fucked we sat in bed and watched Charlie St. Cloud and he fed me ice cream. It was probably the most romantic thing I've ever done.
Randomize
