Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
remember last year when i left for the bar in flip flops and came back in heels?
it happened again.
I've been crying in my room listening to Billy Joel for 2 hours. Thank God Four Loko was banned.
there COULD be a gas leak in our house... proceeding to smoke with extreme caution...
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
Her next conquest seems to be stealing her ex-boyfriend's new girlfriend. Pretty sure everyone involved is totally OK with this.
I'm not really sure if I peed the bed last night or if the cat was trying to get back at me for using her litter box last weekend
The party invite said "this ain't no lame stoplight party, you come to hookup or you don't come" I feel like their honesty deserves out attendance
Not to mention having our pick at the ensuing sausagefest
Opted for cash back rather than the 10% extra I'd get for store credit, solely for drinks tonight.
You're lovely.
He was standing in the living room wearing a Donald Trump wig and looking very disappointed
I would fuck him just for his dog
I swear, I make more use of my creative writing major with sexting than I do with anything else
im gonna shove his purity ring down his throat
Tonights mission: get trashed, smoke a bowl on top of the silo, get some dick. Not necessarily in that order.
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
Randomize
