It was like what a highfive between zeus and Jesus would sound like
that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them.
she told me i should dip my dick in chocolate and then let her blow me since it was her 2 favorite things. weird or my new valentine for this year?
they would be such cute babies and they would grow up to have huge dicks. and that would make me proud as a mother
I know it was you because you're the only person I know who gets drunk and craves soup.
Soup is delicious
she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka.
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
he congratulated me on my ability to grow long hair after pulling it to see if i had extensions
I wish they would just make alcoholic protein shakes already.
I guess I was blacked out I hopped a fence and hugged a cow that night.
do you remember yelling out "insecurity makes my pussy dry!" unnecessarily loud at the bar?
So you think Jesus would be proud of me for walking of shame into my apartment 10 minutes before I told my parents I'd be over for Easter?
Whenever a guy asks me why I like weird sex stuff, I just answer, "Catholic School".
If you shit your pants and not say anything about it right before we have sex one more time I'm dumping you.
He gave us beer and shots and made us pizza in his brick oven before firing a handgun into the air to signal it was time to give us a ride in his inflatable raft to the bars.
He's like a mythological figure
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