Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
She was so adorably desperate I didn't have the heart to tell her I wasn't a lesbian. So now She's making waffles, may switch teams over this.
He told me he loved me and then asked if we could have sex in the snow
I'm not a home wrecker but if one more married man with a yacht asks me to go scuba diving I'm NOT saying no
He can spot Burberry from half a bar away. He's not into vag
It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
The only people in the library at 5:00 on the friday after finals are homeless or pre-med.
Well I just finished dry heaving so I think breakfast is a little further out for me
At leat we can cross off 'having sex in a classroom' on our bucket list.
No. You're getting a Viking funeral and I'm pawning your shit.
He said he wanted to lick the breadcrumbs off my chest
Okay, yeah, judgmental guy at 7/11. I'm buying g wine at 10:20 in the morning. You wanna fight about it?
If I could steal your goatee and hide it under my bed to keep your from wearing it, I would.
She complained to dominos last night for hanging up on her, and then she wrote "fuck you dominos" on the receipt when we got our pizza
So we are banned from the campus dominos
Randomize
