After he came all over my face, he proceeded to give me a high five. I can't even act upset because I always put myself in these situations. Did I mention D3: Mighty Ducks was playing in the background?
Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
I've officially moved beyond college drinking. I just got business drunk at an internship seminar.
doing shots has become such a natural thing to me that i just instinctively swallowed listerine
I just noticed she took the "toys" too. That's how you know when it's really over.
Nyquil jello-shots aiding in health and happiness
Yeah. she rolled up to the party on a unicycle then peed in the bushes. TA of the year.
the potatoes in the margarita machine wasn't the breaking point. its when he turned on the stove and put a bunch of bottle rockets on it that i knew the night had prematurely failed
I've reached the gravitational age where it's very hard to get my face and my boobs in the same shot without some kind of yoga involved .
His dick's name has evolved from Sebastian to Big Daddy to Barbara Streisand to Barbara Walters. I think the transformation is finally complete.
I smoked my last bong as the sun rose. It was magical.
You reached new levels of laziness. After we woke you up to take shots with us, you stayed in bed so you didn't have to move when you were drunk and sleepy
It was like if the scent of sour milk and burning tires had a baby in taste form.
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