Omg. If Ina Garten Makes roast chicken one more time im going to strangle her with her white button down
You seriously need to keep doing my sexting for me. I just said something about "riding cock like a dick rodeo"
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
I'm now in all their contact lists as "Pee-Pee Hands"...
I'm doing lines by myself in the kitchen. I think your outside. yeah that's you. your naked.
If your relationships aren't working out because she doesn't have a penis THEN maybe you should give dudes another go
you really need to stop getting laid in my dreams more than i do.
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
By the time the opening band finished, she was already slurring, coming on to the gay couple next to us, and waving her panties in the air.
The reign of the rally queen is over. Welcome to the age of the walking dead.
On her way to bed she said, "If you have sex on the couch, just move my blanket" Needles to say, we moved the blanket
my god I love twenty year old dicks
You spent an hour sitting naked in your neighbor's Jeep Wrangler yelling in a terrible British accent about how you were "on a safari". Then you passed out on your lawn.
They were out of watermelon smirnoff, so we got you a fifth of 5 o'clock and an actual watermelon.
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