Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
The view from the bathroom floor this morning is fabulous
He kept yelling "osteoporosis" and threw milk at her because she broke her arm.
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
Upperdeckered the toilet. Took sombrero off, drawing too much heat. Witnessed glassing. In bush, come findme.
Idk if I woke up next to a cat or raccoon. either way it's purring.
We are not in a rock band. We can't continue living like this.
i just came to a realization. Besides probably food, in my lifetime i think i have spent more money on legal fees than anything else
my mom said i came home and fell asleep on the floor. like right in front of her.
He called his dick "The Beast" and said he lived "The Beast Life". He was pretty but it was better if he didn't talk.
Can I just go to one establishment in which I haven't banged anyone ?
listen i get youre a daddy dom but that doesnt give you a pass to make dad jokes
You know it's a bad cold when sneezing feels better than orgasming...
Woke up in a house I don't know, with someone else's pants on, and wolverine hair, to my girlfriend yelling on the phone about the 4 girls I made out with last
A total of 3 guys left my apartment this morning. That was my first clue to my black out endeavors last night. Gotta love wine Wednesdays.
Randomize
