remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.
oh awks just saw the head of medical staff who I punched the bottle of wine at
did i try to light ur hair on fire with a sparkler at the club saturday?
I've never known a guy to fuck more random girls in the ass then Dom. His rectal kill ratio is at like 85%
He's like the Derek Jeter of Anal
When I was with you my penis felt like a fat woman crammed into a pair of lulu lemons
Dude, she got "I party too much" skinny. She looks like a recovering drug addict.
We need to get fucked up again and play games like "save the tequila but dodge the knife"
well he said my boobs made him believe in love at first sight so that's cool
Well, you were never considered a shining example of sobriety anyway
I'd cum everywhere if I could have chicken nuggets right now
Never start off a conversation with "speaking of STD's..."
Today we memorialize my orgasms. Taken from me over six months ago, gone too soon. Here's to hoping we'll see one again
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
Randomize
