okay pat passed out under dana's car
No. I broke it. Note to self, never take a shower with your phone in your pocket.
That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
Girls behind me in the library are trying to outslut each other with stories from last semester. I'm about to set my cock on the table between them and label it "tie breaker"
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
hiding in a bush to avoid a seven dollar cab ride. cabby got out a flashlight and looked for us for like an hour. help.
will i regret this in the morrning? probably. but every decision is good during happy hour
I would rather deep fry my own cock while it's still attached to me than have his life.
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
She asked if she should pack the condoms, I told her I plan on drinking so much that it won't be possible.
Hello my rib-scented angel!
Your cousin just directly asked you for nudes
I just got a snapchat of a flaccid penis with the caption "happy belated valentine's day." What did I do to deserve this
He ate me out while I was playing bejeweled. It was the greatest moment of my life.
Dude, I need a fuckin wingman and this could finally make us eskimo brothers, how can you pass that up?
Randomize
