fun fact: cucumber in vinegar with pepper = best ever high snack
Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
you asked the guy at 7-11 if he remembered when you came in and threw news paper every where... then you did it again
i knew it was time to break up with him once he pulled out the Halo foreplay costumes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
I can practically hear my vag and my conscience fighting.
My dad is drinking wine out of a measuring cup. This explains so much.
I totally just potholed and almost crashed while trying to lick salsa off my boob.
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is going to be the time I got green body paint on Chris' ceiling all over again...
And to add, there was a fat guy right next to me who, when the girls would shake their butts, he would let out a shrill xena warrior princess cheer
I forced myself to puke in my garbage can, and the next day I bought a new one and burnt the old one. You could say it was a rough night
when in doubt, mount your coworker in the staff room.
As a BFF it is your duty to answer when I drunk call you at 3 in the morning because I couldn't find a knife to cut that cake. I finally found one, fell asleep with it and the cake in bed. K thanks bye.
That's good. So do you know why there is a giant pile of old tires in the laundry room and kitchen?
Well we knew you needed some tires, found someone on the way home who was giving them away and took them all. Has to be 4 in there you can use.
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