Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
guy at the corner shop gets out a bottle of tequilla and a pack of malboro light whenever he sees me through the door. makes me feel loved and cared for
There's two girls at the bar sniffing each others boobs.
I just sniffled when I woke up and got a bump of coke. I have never felt so good hung over.
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
We play beat the clock every morning. When the alarm goes off, she hits snooze and drops her panties. If I can't finish in time to beat the snooze, she jumps in the shower and I've gotta jerk off.
THEY AREN'T MARRIED. PUT ON YOUR HOMEWRECKING PANTIES AND GET TO WORK. NO EXCUSES.
got a blowjob in the bar bathroom, got arrested for public intoxication, and found a big bag of weed on the ground on my walk home from the station. my friday night could have been a movie
He started to lick a stick of butter and was calling it Jennifer.
Do the right thing and go fuck yourself off a cliff
You would be proud of me, I did not take a dab at work today.
OMG I accidentally abducted a cat. Now there is a cat in my apartment. I NEED TO UNDO WHAT I HAVE DONE
I just got a rock from a customer. Weirdest. Tip. Ever.