he pulled a hernia and i had to get the morning after pill. you tell me how our valentines day went.
We had sex in front of Notre Dame Cathedral, but I lost my wallet. God giveth and God taketh away.
the two person party stopped when i realized that he tried to throw a hammer at my head.
Idk. Im in a bed. the walls are wood. There's a deer mount.. im afraid to turn over and see who's next to me but he's violently cuddly.
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
Bro. Some kids just drive-by judged the shit outta me.
First night sober since New Years. I'm not sure what hurts more, the hangover or the credit dread when I find out what the tickets to Bali actually cost.
Heres a quick tip! When getting black out head from your girlfriend dont come to and say "wait... wheres my girlfriend"
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
You were mean to me and you broke my heart and hurt my feelings. You dont get to talk to me about Peter Dinklage
I just smoked weed with my physics professor. Tell me how my life is this.
When you get this divorce finalized we're going to mid evil times AND pirate dining adventure. We're gonna find you a couple of real men and make them joust/swashbuckle for your affection. My treat.
Is there evidence of another human being getting away with this/ not dying?
Just because I also want a blowjob doesn't mean I don't want to just see you too.
Two words: nipple clamps
Randomize
