new revelation: five guys for breakfast
new revelation: previous revelation not a good revelation
I am like king midas for the gay community. everything I touch turns into a lesbian.
I couldn't tell you were laughing too hard
Dude I thought I set my hair on fire. I wasn't laughing I was screaming.
I actually bought food at McDonald's as an apology for what I was about to do to their bathroom.
Hey, what did you end up doing with those ski goggles?
Anything is possible. I didn't even know I was wearing the toilet cover as a hat
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
Agree to hang out with him and then take a gigantic shit right on him. Or if youve forgiven him for being a fucker maybe make out with him.
I'm worried about how taking care of my mom's dog while being on acid will go.
Girl I'm contemplating picking up some adult diapers. That's how bad this is and it's only day 2.
I'll do anything with you, except downhill sports and butt stuff.
I mean, what's the polite way to say, "sorry but I can't date you cuz I'm sleeping with your boss" ??
I'll give you another blowjob if you bring me some cake.
So today the police came to my dorm to look for weed, i didn't have any in the room, so i let them in. they apologized for any inconvenience and then left after finding nothing. then i realized i was wearing gauges with weed leaves on them lol
He passed out while I was riding him but stayed hard long enough for me to orgasm. He definitely earned the blow job I’m going to wake him up with in the morning!
Randomize
