She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
I don't remember much, but my night is dated pre-Jaeger and post-Jaeger. Also, my boss may or may not have tucked me in.
Well, practice makes perfect. Let's start playing Eye of the Tiger and do a blowjob training montage.
you cant ever make fun of my bong's stick on moustache again. its the reason the cop let me keep it and my weed.
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
Do the molecules within bourbon change when mixed with a cola to form a superior liquid treat?
All he did was like my Instagram picture and I'm already planning how to turn down sex with him this weekend...
Must've forgot to hang up with her when I was telling Josh I plan to pop champagne if I nail her tonight. She showed up with a bottle and said "only if we can toast it with Josh"
we superglued breast forms to his chest. those aren't coming off anytime soon.
Dude, why did I wake up with ketchup packets in my bed and the stove in my room??
Running my fingers through my hair is like that scene from Patch Adams where the girl goes swimming in a pool of spaghetti. I love molly.
I had one beer! ONE BEER! They took shots in mourning of my tolerance last night. My ability to drink is a joke.
She gave me a boner for the first time in 9 years.
Lucky bitch I'm at work covered in Jeff pee. And my hair smells like beer because I was trying to prove a point about PBR serving multiple purposes.
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