She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
Just learned how to deliver a baby.the things i saw tonight can never be unseen
he picked an earring up off the bar floor and tried to give it to girls as a present.
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
Printing the vagina inspector badge was money well spent.
Did I send you an asleep facebook message about the upcoming football season titled 'BRILLIANT' at 4:45 this morning?
it was like lady and the tramp only with a jello shot on the pool table
You called to teach me about fire safety, meowed a whole bunch, said "I hope you are not on fire" and hung up.
Dude, you punched me in the face bc I wasnt ordering your tbell fast enough. Then when you got it, you threw it out the window bc, and I quote, "OBAMACAREEEE!"
I was watching porn and wanted to change the tab to another video to cum but I clicked the wrong tab and it was a gif of a dog but I was coming and couldn't do anything so did I jill off to a dog? I feel like I should be guilty
A warmed up burrito and jelly beans. The breakfast of champions.
Carver called his mom a milf again
Was it on purpose this time?
Her tits are so fantastic they gave him a panic attack.
I had a date last night. His dog threw up in his bed while we were having sex in it.
Having a bangable neighbor is going to ruin my booty call game. I refuse to go across town for dick now
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