i jhust puked up my retainher.
Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
the fda needs to get their shit together cause these four loko going away parties are gonna kill me
That reminds me of that one time you handcuffed me to a table leg while I was reaching for the vodka.
I took an adderall. This is weird. My eyes are really wide open and I am really good at staring. I've written on 9 peoples walls and updated my status. I am getting shit DONE!
I was having the most awesome dream about onion rings and you hit me and told me to stop touching you...WTF?
wait can you just like go into detail with this penis touching thing? like was it a hand job or was it like a day at the petting zoo or something
Well once I told her I had a girlfriend she actually got more aggressive. Then Danielle called me and she saw the pic of the two of us on my phone and immediately said "can my caller I'd pic be me sitting on your face" wtf?
I told him I had the birth control implant in my arm and he looked me in the eyes, said "Science!" and came in me
where are my pants?
in the oven.
So I took my bra off and threw it in the bushes before we went to the bars..
so he'll eat food out of a dumpster but he won't lick your ass?
I mean, if I asked you, would you cum on cotton candy for me?
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
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