i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
hickory dickory dock, please dont tell me about your cock
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
I want a vodka facial right about now. I'm talking about straight vodka bukkake
in light of our recent drunken behavior, i think it's time we seriously consider hiring ourselves a babysitter.
I don't think everyone found it as funny as I did... Nothing says "Party's Over" like the sound of a pump action shotgun.
is it mean that i live tweeted about whether or not my roommate and her bf were having sex or were wrestling?
I had to rip your toilet paper for you...
We lost power at midnight which freaked out my roomate and friends. The power came back on 30 minutes later. We are now at the bar having "the rapture came and we were left behind" shots
Girl behind me in line at cvs was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan b soon she might be a mom abd that if we couldn't tell she'd be a terrible mom
If she wants experimental lesbian sex, i call dibs
I need you to perform a face transplant. Please remove your face from your accounting book and relocate it to where it's most needed - between my legs.
She's too awesome to dump: she gives me great blow jobs and free Popeyes. You just don't burn a bridge like that.
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
I'm glad you don't care about kids. That's one of your better qualities.
Randomize
