Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
would you object to me following you around all the time with a video camera and selling it to TV? Your life could make me millions.
woke up this morning with "hah" written on my penis.i was like wtf?? morning wood kicked in and found out what it really said, haNNah.then i remembered.
This is a mass text: my birthday is tomorrow, and I want a full day of birthday sex. Send me your availabities. Time slots begin at noon
These 31 People Are Lazier Than You Could Ever Imagine
I really hope you aren't where I think you are. Dude she has a MUSTACHE. You need Jesus..
Yeah, all the sudden I heard a loud "ding" and realized I had been passed out on the dorm elevator for about an hour....
the bar told me i would have to take an hour break so they could wash the shot glasses
Just had to return the shit I stole from the dining hall, with everyone watching...apparently there ARE consequences for being drunk, coked up and belligerent.
Dude. The girls called me over to see what they had in their dorm. They snuck in a pigeon in a cardboard box. They named it Quincey. They swear they're sober.
27 Drunk People That Pissed Off The Cops And Got What They Deserved
I AM THE KING OF THE FRESHMEN
how did i know this would happen?
He told me he loved me and then asked if we could have sex in the snow
i was completely deserted.. so i stood outside starbucks for 20 minutes trying to convince the employees to open early and take care of me.. fuck you guys
Can you explain to me why there are fake boobs glued on my chest?
Naw man, if he's crazy enough to jerk off on a public bus he's too crazy for me to fuck with
Ps. I'm slapping the bag. It's an emergency.