He toold me that when we were younger I was his boner buddy.
you were so drunk you slurred your pauses
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
We woke up in an inflatable kiddie pool full of both empty and full beer cans. In the middle of his dad's office. Oh, and we were locked in. Nobody remembers.
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He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
i almost burnt down an apartment complex. little busy, get back to you later
Just threw up in the garbage can outside the liquor store... I'm pretty sure that's some sort of distress signal.
i am going to show so many millionaires my nipple
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
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Just dont tell him. Tell him you colored your vagina for breast cancer awareness month. He will understand.
They were loudly fucking last night and there was way too much conversation involved. It wasn't even dirty talk, it was more like "your doing it wrong" talk
I just want to like fall into a pit of hot wings beside a keg of yingling and eat my way to freedom
I think i'm the first person to get kicked out of a club while completely sober. Come outside please!!
I was christened with Fireball shots by some guy at the bar. I'm practically Jesus now.
He hit me up on Grindr and called me "bro." I just have to assume that the sex is going to be bad.