I made out with a deaf person. Also I've been drunk 11 days in a row now.
guys don't fucking realize that the only place girl like their faces jizzed on is in PORN, and that "squirting" is piss. JUST FUCKING PISS.
Haha, bad night?
We left around 4 AM after the stripper showed no mercy and dropped into a split on Matt's nose. Massive nosebleed.
a garbage man just dropped off my phone and wallet. he found them in the trash this morning.
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
I now beleive the Trojan Ecstasy ad "feels like nothing's there". They forgot to add "...cause the condom broke."
I fucked her while she was wearing her boyfriends dogtags. I'm officially a bad american
What should I wear?
Uhhhhh...idk? it's a gay bar
I found something that says "i'm here to party, but not fuck guys."
Lol okay. He's gonna show up with like a trunk of sex toys. He's like the mary poppins of hotel fucking.
I found my hair extensions. They were in my hamper.
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
She literally took off her shirt and ran out of the bar. When she ran back she smashed into the glass door with her face....That's got to be the best way to celebrate your 30th.
Dougie got over his pride nerves. Found him dancing on a float wearing nothing but rainbow boxers.
Hi please disregard the last text and if you'd like our entire interaction
I am drunk and aggressive about the olympixs
It's spelled Olympics
my roommates are pretty pissed at me. they sent me out for ice and i came back with a kitten.