i always forget that thursday isnt the weekend in the real world
Dude, the cops never think it's as funny as you do.
Fine. Just this once and because its veterans day will I send you a picture of my tits. You're lucky I love this country.
Just suggested things for my dad to get my mom for Christmas in terms of "yeah you'll get laid."
Also, we accidentally donated a bong to goodwill
I took an adderall. This is weird. My eyes are really wide open and I am really good at staring. I've written on 9 peoples walls and updated my status. I am getting shit DONE!
Either im tripping real hard, or there's a legit land shark in my apartment.
I'm just gonna go with where the wind takes me. if it takes me to his dick, so be it.
I woke up with my wool blanket soaking wet on the dorm room floor, and my sweatshirt hanging on the shower door down the hall. So basically my camp-out-in-the-bathroom idea didn't turn out as planned
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
i love it when bitches who pick on you in high school get fat. thank you facebook you have made my day.
I swear to the sweet baby jesus I didn't fill your freezer with salsa and my little pony toys, but I didn't stop them either.
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
I’m literally watching say yes to the dress, eating fancy cheeses with crackers, and I have orange dark chocolates. All of which is being washed down with merlot. And I’m 100% sure a porno is gonna go down next door tonight. They don’t have a car and arrived via taxi. Happy holidays from motel 6 Pendleton Oregon!
Pretty sure I'm partying in a onesie right now.
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