Dude this girl just said she'd take me to pleasure town while giving me head
Will Ferrell is probably jerking himself off somewhere wishing he was you
the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
I wish real life had facebook tags so i could figure out who all these people are
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
On a scale of "impaired judgement" to "Mel Gibson," how drunk are you?
Toaster
I just ran up four flights of stairs in heels, im getting an orgasm tonite.
He wore a Medeval Times crown while I gave him a BJ
well we could tame deer to let us ride on them. does that work?
I'll be honest. I knew what I was getting into. I'm not proud, but I'll be damned if I'm ashamed. 6 month draught is over. That's justice.
If I had cancer, and got to make a wish, id make the organization force your dad to fuck me.
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
I lowered my expectations when he started off saying "ah missionary, my specialty"
I'm glad you enjoyed the night but why were you calling me "daddy"?
But he was still all, "YOU TEXTED TONY WHILE YOU WERE GETTING FUCKED?!" Like THAT was the weird part.
Randomize
