Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
He doesn't know I'm infertile yet, that's when the sex gets good
I just put a tampon in while driving. Don't tell me I don't got skills.
You missed a lot. I drank contact solution thinking it was water, vodka thinking it was water and some unidentified substance that reminded me of pine sol thinking it was water..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wore a leash I'll tell you about it later I had a fantastic time
I swallowed for you. Answer the phone.
We had three bowls going. It was a tri-bowl tournament. Harry potter shit.
You're the third person who's asked me for an afternoon blow connection in one day. Unreal.
That's more of a you-issue than a me-issue
I thought he was being really sweet and protective when he pulled me away from the guy i was hooking up with, but turns out he just wanted me to get chicken nuggets with him...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just had the best idea EVER: start a mead brewing/dispensery business! WE CAN BREW IT IN MY GIANT CLOSET, AND NEVER BE SOBER AGAIN.
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
The blow job award ceremony was a little much. You guys didn't need to call out what happened the night before.
What? How can you say that? You won!
His dick is the size of my forearm. Would it be rude to ask to take a comparison photo after sex?
I'm going to reward myself for having sex with coffee and a breakfast burrito.
I opened the bathroom door and the starting point gaurd was eating out my art history professor
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