I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
I ate one of your animal crackers. just one. ok four. but no frosting. ok frosting.
Today a TA in one of my classes told me he thought I was 35 and going back to school as an adult learner. Alcohol is working me.
This just in: I met a girl who does the phone sex phone lines, and shes' 5'4" 320. I'll never get a hardon again through a phone.
Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
he just sent me a picture of his penis sticking through a piece of paper that he had drawn a stick figure with tits on it that said "you"
Having a vagina does not stop me from believeing my balls are bigger than yours.
We were having an argument with his friends mom about whether it was worse that he bootycalled me at 4 a.m. or that I bootycalled him at 12 in the afternoon
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
Yeah except my drinking partners aka my parents went to sleep Cuz ya know, they're old.
He came in two seconds and stole my pizza so I'm not counting it.
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
Just cuz I'm recovering alcoholic does NOT make me the taxi for you every weekend
Omg worst high ever. I'm watching Parks and Rec, and all i can think about is how andy, leslie, and tom are my closest friends. Forever alone.
Randomize
