My dad hugged me and said I love u. I'm glad I didn't pull out that night.
My therapist said that she thinks i may have a sex addiction. I think she may be a terrible therapist.
Want me to drive you to Dr. Drew's sex rehab?
Nah, cause then i cant masturbate to that show anymore.
my being single is dangerous.
even your uterus rejects him.
apparently my uterus is the smartest part of my body.
I woke up on a futon in some strangers house. They were eating pizza and told me everything was going to be fine.
I really want to title the album "I want to make sex with your face" but I also want a job someday. Temptations, temptations.
How many times do I have to drunk reject you for our friendship to become awkward? Cause were at 9 as of last night
Like theyre better than no shoes. I'm sitting her balls naked playing xbox in nothing but crocs with the fur
That time we were having sex when you were super drunk, I kept yelling out, "Oh God," and you said, "You're going to need him after this." Idk why I suddenly thought of that.
I walked out and he was covered in jelly, slithering around the floor. I don't know how to process that.
Sharknado 3 is going to bring us to alcoghol poisonign
Hold me and let me compliment your butt
Waxing your own asshole is awkward and difficult at best.
Dick is healthier for you than green beans
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
Randomize
