hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
you were eating the carrots out of my guinea pig's cage and saying that you needed them more than they ever would.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Out of ice. Vodka+club soda+cut up lime popscicle=I'm an alcoholic genius.
I tried really hard to get you laid last night. And by that I mean I asked a bunch of dudes if they were top or bottom.
So what's today's forecast for the female rollercoaster you've been riding?
Something about being drunk at 1pm chasing seagulls on the beach while it's raining is very calming
I was supposed to go on a date tonight but I cancelled because I found out the Lizzie McGuire movie is on Netflix.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
#tbt to when you let me put plastic wrap on your balls and hum a little song
Remember when you gave their 80 year old doorman a line of molly at 5am?
Parade of Dicks...that's what I'm calling 2017
I want you to defile me in my childhood bed.
That's nice of you to be concerned, but I'm pretty confident I'll marry someone 30 years older than me, ride out being the trophy wife for 10 or 15 years, then live large!
Well now I’m in the bathroom puking up absinthe so guess I beat myself up over it one way or the other
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