im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
You drew a lightning bolt on your eye and stomach in eye liner and made me sing Poker face with you in harmonies. I never knew you were still a music major when you were drunk.
He kept insisting that I was going to have an orgasm but it just felt like he was rubbing sand paper on my vagina
If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times
we need to find an occasion to wear tutus
All inclusive resorts are actually just places that livers go to die.
that bad?
u-n-l-i-m-i-t-e-d. f-r-e-e. t-e-q-u-i-l-a.
I'm doing shots of jagger in dixi cups and making a lesson plan for my 8th grader summer school class. My life is so close to adulthood I can taste it
New Mean Girls drinking game: Everytime someone says Africa or Math, chug.
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
I'm finally in my bed, my pants are off, and there's no pee on my carpet this is the best life has been all day
You were wearing a sequin mini, with Tevas. And you still got laid.
I made out with him in the club and he endorsed me on Linkedin. My networking skills are off the charts.
- I'm finally learning to be functional when I'm high. I feel like this is a milestone.
Idk but when you think about it the last time I did bottomless mimosas I ended up getting my nipples pierced so it might be fair
Randomize
